Bamford has a song that she sometimes performs onstage called “My Anxiety Song.” It has no melody. Instead, it sounds more like an incantation, a desperate verbal hum. “If I keep the ice-cube trays filled,” she chants, “no one will diiiiieeee.” She continues, in a monotone, “As long as I clench my fists at odd intervals, then the darkness within me won’t force me to do anything inappropriate or sexual” — here, she drops her voice a couple of notes — “at dinner partieeeees… . “
This, she is saying, is the agony of O.C.D., the skewed sense of cause and effect that first began to plague her when she was about 10. According to the National Institutes of Health, about 2.2 million adult Americans contend with some form of obsessive-compulsive disorder. It’s not uncommon for the symptoms to appear during childhood. Bamford is patient when explaining the particulars, aware that when she jokes about having wanted to chop up her family into bits or imagining what it would be like to lick a urinal, it can make her sound weird and also scary. But she makes a distinction: It’s the thoughts that are weird and scary, not the person. And while most of us are prone to having fleeting notions that would qualify as inappropriate, in the mind of someone with O.C.D., they are more likely to lodge themselves and repeat. The thoughts don’t tend to inspire action, only fear. It’s like having a homegrown terrorist in the brain.
1: What would you name your future daughter?
2: Do you miss anyone?
3: What if I told you that you were pretty?
4: Ever been told “it’s not you, it’s me”?
5: What are you looking forward to in the next week?
6: Did you go out or stay in last night?
7: How late did you stay up last night?
8: Honestly, has anyone seen you in your underwear in the past 3 months?
9: What were you doing at 12:30 this afternoon?
10: Have you ever told somebody you loved them and not actually meant it?
11: Could you go for the rest of your life without drinking alcohol?
12: Have you pretended to like someone?
13: Could you go the rest of your life without smoking a cigarette?
14: Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?
15: Is it hard for you to get over someone?
16: Think back five months ago, were you single?
17: Have you ever cried from being so mad?
18: Hold hands with anyone this week?
19: Did your last kiss take place in/on a bed?
20: Who did you last see in person?
21: What is the last thing you said out lot?
22: Have you kissed three or more people in one night?
23: Have you ever been to Paris?
24: Are you good at hiding your feelings?
25: Do you use chap stick?
26: Who did you last share a bed with?
27: Are you listening to music right now?
28: What is something you currently want right now?
29: Were your last three kisses from the same person?
30: How is your heart lately?
31: Do you wear the hood on your hoodie?
32: When was the last time a member of the opposite sex hugged you?
33: What do people call you?
34: Have you ever wanted to tell someone something but didn’t?
35: Are there any stressful situations in your life?
36: What are you listening to right now?
37: What is wrong with you right now?
38: Love really is a beautiful thing huh?
39: Do you make wishes at 11:11?
40: What is on your wrists right now?
41: Are you single/taken/heartbroken/confused/waiting for the unexpected?
42: Where did you get the shirt/sweatshirt you’re wearing?
43: Have you ever regretted kissing someone?
44: Have you hugged someone within the last week?
45: Have you kissed anyone in the last five days?
46: What were you doing at midnight last night?
47: Do you miss the way things were six months ago?
48: Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone?
49: Have you ever been to New York?
50: Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?"
if he thinks rape jokes are funny go on a romantic boat ride with him and leave him in the middle of the fucking ocean to die
lookin like all the best parts of the 90s
fall aesthetic goals